Has marrying your first love ended in heartache?

It takes both partners working at keeping the marriage alive, working toward common goals. Unfortunately, it sounds like your husband gave up a long time ago. I hate to agree with the counselor, but it may be time to move on. No matter how much you want it or how much you wish it was different, your husband is not holding up his end of the marriage vows and you can't make him change. He has to take an active role in the relationship (which he isn't) for it to work. It's too bad that he can't make the necessary changes to make your relationship better. But you have to do what is good for yourself or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.